The other night I stumbled across a blog, called The R House. It is about a family that has adopted 2 little boys. She is a huge adoption advocate. I could relate to so much of what she was talking about. I want to be an adoption advocate like her. Adoption is such a miracle and unfortunately there are some people who view it negatively. We haven't encountered much negativity yet, but I am sure we will some day. And I want everyone to know what an amazing thing adoption is, and that adoption is a loving decision on the part of birth mothers.
One thing that this blog really emphasizes is the courage and strength that birth mothers have. I know this is true in the case of Andrew's birth mother. I witnessed one of the truest examples of Christ like love in her as we watched her completely disregard her own pain and do what she knew was best for her baby. I have heard some people say that they don't know how someone could just "give their baby away" and "they must not love them." This is SO untrue. Andrew is such a lucky little guy to have a birth mother like his that gave him life, that wanted more for him. We love her so much. Andrew will always know how much she loves him.
That also got me thinking about what a spiritual experience this has been. Even though Andrew didn't come to our family in the conventional way, and he may not share my DNA, but he was meant to come to our family. That I know without a doubt. The amazing spirit that was present while we were with Andrew's birth mother in the hospital, the spirit that has been in our home since, tells me that this is Heavenly Father's plan for our family. The other day I had an interesting conversation with Luke. Tyler's brother and his wife just had their baby and we were talking about it and said something about child birth-about her water breaking or something-and Luke said, "Did that happen to you when Andrew was born?" We reminded him that he grew in someone else tummy, and he was like, "Oh yeah, I forgot!" And while I am glad that Luke just sees Andrew as a part of our family like normal, I want them to remember adoption and the miracle it is.
Something else from the blog that really stood out to me was from this post. It was just from an little interview that she gave to someone about adoption. She was asked what her least favorite part of adoption is and she said "the uncertainty." That is something that I can totally relate to! She talked about how she doesn't know when or if they will be able to adopt another baby, and about how amazing it is to have been selected by two birth mothers and given the trust to raise their child, and how it sometimes feels unlikely that such an amazing thing could happen again. But she hopes. And she is so grateful for 2 children she has been blessed with. That is something that I feel too. We would love to adopt again, hope that we can, but I need to accept that it might not happen. I might not get the 4 kids I always thought I would have, and I may never be able to shop for pink clothes, but I am blessed. I have felt angry and broken, but I have been given so much. My family doesn't look like I thought it would, but my family is beautiful. And that helps me deal with the uncertainty.
4 comments:
Great post. It's so odd to me that anyone would be against adoption. The love that a birthmother has is beyond anything I can imagine. It is the greatest love, to have the courage to give your child a better life.
Again, great post. Since, I, too, am such an advocate, I should blog about it more! You've inspired me!
I love you!
Jen, you're magnificent.
What a heart-felt post. Thank you for sharing your thoughts.
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