Patience and Rememberance

When Tyler come home from the Priesthood session on Conference a month ago, he said, "You need to read President Uchtdorf's talk." Well, I finally got around to reading it, and he was right. I did need to read it. I need to read it everyday. It is called "Continue in Patience." Have you ever heard a talk that you felt was written just for you? Well, I think this talk was written just for me. Patience has never been easy for me and our current situation is testing every ounce of my patience and forcing me to develop more! Here are some things that meant the most to me.

Patience isn't merely waiting. President Uchtdorf said, "I learned that patience is far more than simply waiting for something to happen-patience requires actively working toward worthwhile goals and not getting discouraged when results don't appear instantly or without effort." No matter how helpless I sometimes feel with the whole situation, there are things that I can be doing to help facilitate our adoption. I have been doing some things to do that, but I can do more. And just because my efforts don't appear to be working right away, I need to keep going and have faith that someday my efforts will be rewarded.

He also talked about the Lord's way and time and that Heavenly Father has a purpose in requiring his children to wait. He said, "Every one of us is called to wait in our own time. We wait for answers to our prayers. We wait for things which at the time may appear so right and so good to us that we can't possibly imagine why Heavenly Father would delay the answer." This really stood out to me, because what could be more right and good that wanting to have another baby?

President Uchtdorf gave an example from his life of when he way training to be a fighter pilot and it seemed to him that other men who were not following the Word of Wisdom seemed to be in better shape than him. He learned that God's promises aren't always fulfilled as quickly are we may hope, but that later he could see the evidence of blessings from following the Word of Wisdom. I have often felt the same as he did. I am trying to obey God's commandments, why are people who will have an abortion or abuse their kids getting pregnant and not me? I find hope in President Uchtdorf's words, that he knows "that the promises of the Lord, if perhaps are not always swift, are always certain."

He also talked about Brigham Young and how he would pray to the Lord, "Give me patience to wait until I can understand it for myself." I know that someday I will be able to look back at understand better why this all happened. I will be able to be thankful for the trial that allowed some very special child come to our family that couldn't have come any other way. But until then, I need to ask for the patience to get me through. Luke asked me the other day why everyone else is having babies but us. Part of me just wanted to cry and say, "I don't know it is really unfair huh!" But I didn't. I told him that I know a very special baby will come to our family, and sometimes Heavenly Father makes us wait for things so we can learn. It was a great opportunity to teach him about faith and patience.

President Uchtdorf said, "Often the deep valleys of our present will be understood only by looking back on them from the mountains of our future experience. Often we can't see the Lord's hand in our lives until long after trials have passed. Often the most difficult times of our lives are essential building blocks that form the foundation of our character and pave the way for future opportunity, understanding, and happiness." I need to read that everyday. Because no matter how well I think I am doing, I still have days when it hurts so badly, when it almost feels as if someone has died, and a huge part of me is missing. Waiting is hard. So I am going to have those days. That's were the remembering comes in. I'm glad I have things, like this talk, to help me remember what I know is true.