Things forgotten, remembered, lost and learned

Andrew's 2 month "birthday" was yesterday, so here are some of the traditional month birthday pictures. Notice how much bigger he is!! He is about 10 pounds now, his next doctors appointment is next weeks so we'll get the official weight then, but I know he is over ten lbs. which means that he has doubled his birth weight!

I was thinking the other night while I was up feeding him about all the things that I had "forgotten" about having a newborn, since it has been nearly five years since Isaac was a newborn. Some things are like riding a bike, like changing a diaper and giving baths. Other things I had kind of forgotten about. Here are some of them...

-having to carry a diaper bag around.

-the sweet coos and squeaks that newborns make.

-the obsessive need to check on them to see if they are breathing.

-how much laundry one little person can create.

-how awesome it feels to have a baby sleeping on your chest.

-how it feels to function on very little sleep.

-typing one handed, which I am doing right now.

-doing lots of things one handed.

-how it feels when they grab your finger and hold on tight.

-that amazing feeling when they stop crying and are so excited, just because you are there.

-knowing you would give your life for this little person that you just met.

This experience has been completely new, and different, and amazing. I admit that there is a small corner of my heart that is still sad that I can never get pregnant again and I would give anything to be able to nurse Andrew. I don't know if those feelings will every go away, but there is another part of me that feels bad for everyone that hasn't been able to experience how amazing adoption is. I have gained so much though this experience. Here are some of the things that I have gained that I wouldn't have been able to without losing something.

-being able to witness the Christlike love that birth mothers have for their babies.

-gaining a greater understanding of what a mother is. It is so much more that giving birth. I am Andrew's mom and was meant to be.

-seeing the amazing love that Luke and Isaac have for Andrew. They have never once shown any resentment or jealousy towards Andrew and you can just see the love they have for him.

-a greater appreciation of the temple and forever families.

-feeling how great my own capacity to love is.

-knowing that Heavenly Father's plan will always give you more than you would have given yourself.

Anyway, I am just so grateful that I am Andrew's mom, that our family can still grow and that we will be together forever! These past two months have been amazing!